Gadgets

When cock pushups just aren’t cutting it anymore, Dr. Weener’s StudMaster workout unit offers a full aerobic workout experience for your junk. Just strap yourself in and go to town. Dr. Weener guarantees your over-the-hill cockadoodledoo will get the workout of its life. Link [via]

Poor, poor stuffed animals. I had to hold back my vomit when I saw these Mounted Plush Heads. Surely the result of a camping trip to the plush section of Toys R Us, I just can’t understand the allure of shooting poor, defenseless plushies, humane or not. Be sure to coordinate your puke so it doesn’t hit your keyboard. The ...

Pearly Dreams toothpaste was made to help you sleep. In other words, brush your teeth with this stuff and say goodnight. You’ll be lucky to make it to your bed. Containing a cocktail of Melatonin, Balm Mint, Valerian and Passionflower and endorsed by Aerosmith’s Brad Whitford (wtf?), Pearly Dreams promises a long night of unconsciousness. Or you can just drink ...

I’d hit it and then take it to a buffet in my Ford. The real “American Beauty” looks more like this than Mena Suvari. Mena’s got a monster forehead anyway. You ever seen that thing? The size of a damn billboard. Link

The life of a cyclops is a sad one. No 3D, limited peripheral vision… what’s the point? Two words: Cyclops Sunglasses. In fact, these glasses are made for us bi-optical peeps (sorry, one-eye, them be the ropes). Air in my lungs, food in my tummy, two eyes on my face… life is good. Link

Forget Mike, I wanna be like Spock. And this Star Trek Tricorder replica gives me that extra step towards my goal. Now all I need are a pair of those pointy ears. Does are Earth really contain intelligent lifeforms? I’ll let you know once ThinkGeek gets this shipped out to me. Link

The Egyptians built pyramids for a reason. Number one, the pharaohs forced them to at whip point. Two, they look fucking awesome. It seems the designer of this Pyramid HTPC casemod got his hands on a few Egyptian slaves. I wonder how much they go for these days. Inspired by the pyramids featured in Stargate, the HTPC includes an Intel ...

Many Blackberry users have been holding out on the iPhone because of the device’s lack of a real feel keyboard. The iTwinge adds an actual tactile keyboard to the phone, while making it look uglier than any Blackberry ever released. Big thumbs got you down? The touchscreen of the iPhone has caused some serious issues for some users who have ...

Now that hating on Kanye is the “cool” thing to do, following his disastrous and distasteful showing at the MTV VMAs, I’ve got to represent my Kanye hating pride before the hipsters make hating on Kanye just another slice of conformist culture. The best way to rep your hate? I’d say this t-shirt is pretty damn close. Look, don’t get ...

While sifting through images of iFixIt’s teardown of the Zune HD we noticed something quite peculiar. Inside of the casing was a dedication, an inscription reading “For our princess.” As far as we can tell, this inscription is a dedication to a member of the Zune team who passed away during the production of the device. In return, Microsoft made ...