I hate going to a party and having my present seem meager in comparison to the elaborately wrapped gifts of other guests. This is probably my own fault since I usually opt for wrapping gifts with the real estate section of the newspaper. This Glowing Gift Box is unbeatable when it comes to flashiness.
The gift box continuously alternates between a red, green, white, and blue glow, hypnotizing the gift opener into kissing your ass in appreciation. In fact, I don’t think I’d even buy a present. The box is good enough. Get your own for $39.95. — Andrew Dobrow
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