Man, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard THAT, I might have around 10 cents or so. But seriously, you know it’s bad when your housemates have to wear noise-canceling headphones when you go to the bathroom. Not that there’s much you can do about it. You just happened to be born with a powerful stream.
But in fact, there is something you can do about it. The Pee Without Noise Stool brings your firehouse closer to the water hole, providing less room for your piss to gain velocity. Which equals? Quiet pee pee. Just keep your balls at a safe distance. You don’t want them shits rubbing up against the toilet rim. Even a silent piss isn’t worth that.