Is this some kind of a sick joke? This knitted doll looks nothing like me. Well, maybe the hair. Regardless, Hannah J. Simpson made this knitted Ash doll that’s supposed to be me, but doesn’t look a thing like me. Good thing she’s not selling these, otherwise you’d be getting ripped off.
Buying a doll with my name on it that lacks the rugged Latin features which truly characterize myself is like buying a monotone soccer ball. No flavor, no spun-wait a second…
…Is this supposed to be Ash Williams from the Evil Dead movies? It all makes sense, now.