Massage Pants: For When Your Penis Is Stiff

After a long day’s work (or a Hard’s Day Night), don’t you wish you could come home to a loving massage? Except when you do arrive home, all that awaits you is silence. Sure, it’s morbid, but probably close to reality. These Japanese made Massage pants offer just what you need to work out your tender genital tissue.

With multiple massage modes, automatic temperature control with �infrared heaters� and an automatic setting that will run for 20 minutes, these Massager’s might just start a party in your pants. The weird thing is, you can only buy them in bulk orders of 500 or more. We hope you have a lot of stiff friends, or need something to fill a goody bag at a sausage fest. — Andrew Dobrow

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