In a surprise keynote held at Apple’s Quahog division headquarters, Stewie Jobs announced the new iPhone 5. Stewie spent most of the keynote highlighting the device’s newest features which promise to kill Lois in ways before thought unimaginable. Slaughtering your family in the name of world domination? There’s an app for that. At least, there is now. Link

OK, so it might not be an Apple-approved model, but it gets the job done. For $250, which is more than the phone itself, even when bought with a new wireless contract, ColorWare will paint your iPhone 4 (much like they did for previous models) in any color combination you desire. So, yeah, for $250 you’re paying for a little ...

While Apple is getting all sorts of heat for their faulty design and software issues of the iPhone 4, the iPad remains a fallback excuse for what makes Apple just so Apple-y. It’s slick, it’s smooth, it’s edible, it’s quick and maybe most important, it’s fun. In fact, the iPad is such a success that other companies are starting to ...

Stuart Hughes has been adding ostentatious luxury to Apple products for years now and from the looks of things, he has absolutely no plans on stopping. His newest creation is the $121,408 Solid White Gold iPad. Weighing in at well over 4 lbs, this solid gold gadget is significantly less portable thanks to the extra weight. So all of you ...

This is a true disaster for Microsoft. They wanted so bad to be a serious contender in the smartphone market. Their newest attempt, the KIN, which has only been in stores since May 13th, is now being pulled from the shelves. But why? Some sources are reporting that as few as 500 KINs were sold in their entire tenure on ...

According to sources across Twitter, Apple’s new iOS 4 for the iPhone will be available for download around 1 PM ET. If any of you are as eager as I am to get your hands on the final product, then I’m sure you’ve been checking iTunes every few minutes. Occasionally, Apple plants the download on their Software Update site a ...

Farmville is no longer just a Facebook sensation. Soon enough Zynga’s going to be porting their benchmark farming game for the iPhone. Once the iPhone version is released, forget it, there’s going to be no way to avoid it. So all of us farm haters better just get used to it. Even without the iPhone, Zynga has all but dominated ...

Looking for a surefire way of getting laid tonight? Grab yourself an iPad and cover that bitch in chocolate. Present it to your woman. Result? Super-horniness. Thank me later. Hey, it’s more romantic than Chocolate Weapons at least. Stefan Magdalinski created this idea as a birthday for his Apple-crazy Asian girlfriend. I’m pretty sure he’s still reaping the benefits as ...

iFixYourI Blog put the iPhone 4’s glass exterior to the test and wouldn’t you know it? Glass tends to shatter when it falls from a few feet up. After the phone’s third fall, from approximately 3.5 feet, successfully shattered the newest rendition of the Jesus Phone. It’s only fair to take into account that the particular device used for the ...

With Steve Jobs’s unveiling of the iPhone 4 at yesterday’s WWDC, the modern smartphone battleground was just cranked up a notch. Apple’s newest launch into the mobile stratosphere has already spurred much speculation of which phone will ultimately win the smartphone battle. Looking at all of the stats, I don’t think there’s much competition. AT&T just needs to get their ...