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When cock pushups just aren’t cutting it anymore, Dr. Weener’s StudMaster workout unit offers a full aerobic workout experience for your junk. Just strap yourself in and go to town. Dr. Weener guarantees your over-the-hill cockadoodledoo will get the workout of its life. Link [via]

Sure, we’ve seen better looking cakes. Much better looking cakes. I’ll give you that. But the messiness of this Left 4 Dead cake has its own sort of charm. It actually sort of fits in with the games seediness. Actually, that might be the point. So, yeah, don’t listen to me. Featuring chocolate frosting and a marzipan hand. Om nom ...

What is it about cubes that activates our innate geeky attraction? Does it have something to do with our natural attraction to Geometry and segmented squares? I don’t know, I was never great at math. But what I do know is that anything involving cubes usually catches my eye. This Matthius Pugin’s Cube Office Desk is particularly awesome because it’s ...

Poor, poor stuffed animals. I had to hold back my vomit when I saw these Mounted Plush Heads. Surely the result of a camping trip to the plush section of Toys R Us, I just can’t understand the allure of shooting poor, defenseless plushies, humane or not. Be sure to coordinate your puke so it doesn’t hit your keyboard. The ...

Pearly Dreams toothpaste was made to help you sleep. In other words, brush your teeth with this stuff and say goodnight. You’ll be lucky to make it to your bed. Containing a cocktail of Melatonin, Balm Mint, Valerian and Passionflower and endorsed by Aerosmith’s Brad Whitford (wtf?), Pearly Dreams promises a long night of unconsciousness. Or you can just drink ...

I’d hit it and then take it to a buffet in my Ford. The real “American Beauty” looks more like this than Mena Suvari. Mena’s got a monster forehead anyway. You ever seen that thing? The size of a damn billboard. Link

The life of a cyclops is a sad one. No 3D, limited peripheral vision… what’s the point? Two words: Cyclops Sunglasses. In fact, these glasses are made for us bi-optical peeps (sorry, one-eye, them be the ropes). Air in my lungs, food in my tummy, two eyes on my face… life is good. Link

Forget Mike, I wanna be like Spock. And this Star Trek Tricorder replica gives me that extra step towards my goal. Now all I need are a pair of those pointy ears. Does are Earth really contain intelligent lifeforms? I’ll let you know once ThinkGeek gets this shipped out to me. Link

The Egyptians built pyramids for a reason. Number one, the pharaohs forced them to at whip point. Two, they look fucking awesome. It seems the designer of this Pyramid HTPC casemod got his hands on a few Egyptian slaves. I wonder how much they go for these days. Inspired by the pyramids featured in Stargate, the HTPC includes an Intel ...

Although the temptation is so hard to bear, the Bloodbot told me personally that if you’re a good boy, it’ll try not to stab you in your face with its needle. Bloodbot was made to give nurses more time to read their gossip rag magazines and to swoon over the new hunky residents. Those five minutes of patient interaction was ...