Pizza Cutter Chainsaw Slices Up a Pie, Helps Dispose of Bodies

Even though I’m all-man, I don’t mind being a puss every once in a while and cooking for my woman. Cooking usually equals ordering a pizza and saying I made it from scratch. The problem with this plan is that most cookery is made for ladies, as is the nature of things. So I need a pizza cutter that’s really going to let everyone know that I’m a feral male on the prowl despite being prone to cook for my woman.

Oh… I’m sorry, is “my” too much? Does it imply ownership? I meant the woman I screw when I come home from my long day of spitting on strippers and beating hookers.

This Pizza Cutter Chainsaw lets the opposite sex know that you’re not only capable of slicing a pizza, but also fully able to kill their exes and dispose of their bodies without a trace. Not that you would, of course. Just sayin’. All of that information from one device? Where do I sign?!

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