His under bite says no, but the Velociraptor living in his beard says yes.

Marvel launched a pretty amazing promo today, allowing participants to pick and choose from 700 digital comic books in the coming days.

I prefer perfection out of my dolls. How am I supposed to convince Ken to keep up appearances with this train wreck? He won't have it. He'll leave her and play the field. Yo, what up Monster High. You frequent this graveyard often?

I've always had the incessant urge to visit the great museums of the world and just take massive, brute animalistic bites out of the greatest masterpieces ever created. And wouldn't you know it, Edvard Munch's "The Scream" tastes just like chicken! Bwahahah, just kidding. Tastes like toast. DIPPED IN CHICKEN!

Be you lazy, injured or amputated, basic chores become not so basic anymore. Shoveling snow is nearly impossible with only a pair of two inch nubs protruding from your torso. The Patrick Starfish jokes get old quick. And nub-slaps can only defend your honor so much.

Awkward Engineer Creations promises that their product offers the perfect dunk every time. This year, I'm getting Santa one of these for Christmas. Guess who just ruined your diet again, Mr. Kringle? This guy!

Disney, you have no idea what you're missing. LucasArts could have shot you right back into the geeky boys' hearts. And you drop it? Just like that? Do you have any idea how crazily obsessed us Star Wars nerds get? Nope. apparently not.

And just like that, "Vadering" was a thing. And God said it was good. Twitching through the Twitter and Facebook wire is a new craze which pairs photography and Darth Vader's stranglehold.

Things just shouldn't be oversized, that's the secret. Large things that shouldn't be large engages my sheer terror instinct. Stay tiny, my friends.

I refuse to admit that my eyes would lie to me this bad. I mean, me and my eyes have had some tussles. But I will NEVER, EVER, EVER let them live it down if I discover they've lied to me again. Not this time. Now way! There's an ice cream scooper with your name on it, bub.