Hey, sissy. We’ve got a great new product just for your girly-man needs. The Flex Smart Apron was designed using a basis of men’s hunting gear. But don’t think that will make you any more macho. It’s still an apron.
The apron splits into two tails that become pot holders, so your fleshy, moisturized fingers won’t get a little boo-boo. And as for being hunter-themed, it’s a shame the only meat you’ll be handling was slaughtered long ago. Yeah…I will own one soon. — Andrew Dobrow