Stun Gun Cellphone for date rapists

We meant to use AGAINST date rapists, of course, you sick minded geek you. Designed to look like an actual cellphone, the Stun Gun Cellphone is actually a self-defense weapon which sends out 800K watts of electrifying glory. We’d be scared that if we sat in a weird position that the “phone” would be activated, which would then put us on call waiting if you know what we mean. Though, our worries are unfounded as there is a safety switch conspicuously added to the design.

The Stun Gun Cellphone comes with a leather case and belt attachment for more realism and easier transportation for your strolls through the wrong side of town. A situation where something like this could help would look something like this:

Mugger: “Gimme yo money, biotch”
Smart Buyer: “Ok, let me call the bank and wire it to you” *thrust*
Mugger: *sizzle*

Mission accomplished. — Andrew Dobrow

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