Tag Archives: household

I was thinking the other day, “Hey, you know what? My dog gets more rights than my own future kids will ever have.” It just doesn’t make much sense to me for a few reasons. I’ll love both my dog and my kids unconditionally I buy both of them expensive toys. Both my dog and my kids will both need ...

What’s a man gotta do to get in a game of Shower Hero around here? Do I literally have to buy myself Game Boy-shaped soap? Ok, now I’m just making up excuses. Etsy store Two Eggplants offers this surprisingly realistic Game Boy Soap, which offers a Tetris screen and a smooth Dulce de Leche scent. If you’re down for smelling ...

The goal of Fanny Floss is to thoroughly clean your undercarriage, as well as you’re buttocks. But the way I see it, all you’re really doing here is thoroughly spreading shit towards your taint and balls. Am I missing something here? Is this really a genius idea and I’m just missing the point? Don’t get me wrong, I can see ...

There’s something about tossing a salad that makes me just want to belt out a tune or twelve. Come on now, there’s no reason a man can’t toss a salad while belting out some Ethel Merman in the comfort of his own home. Don’t you sass me! The Sing Along Tongs aid your salad tossing-inspired singing efforts with their mic-inspired ...

I, for one, am sick of having my dishes breathe in my face with their stank-ass breath. It’s one thing to allow yourself to let the day-old ketchup get all crusty all over themselves, but when their oral hygiene starts to suffer, that’s where I have to draw the line. The Giant Toothbrush Dish Brush not only saves your dishes ...

Face it. Your couch is a dirty, dirty whore. It took literally days for every piece of furniture in your house to mysteriously come down with herpes once your couch entered into the picture. What a hussy. Thankfully, the Lifestyles Condom Pillow and Blanket pair keep you safe from contracting any potential furniture-to-human transmittable diseases. Slip inside the safe enclosure ...

Save the airfare. Don’t stress about finding a ship pilot that’s actually willing to fly you into the harsh frozen wasteland of Hoth. There’s no need. We know why you’re going. And it’s no longer necessary. ThinkGeek has removed the need to travel across the universe just to pick up an authentic Wampa Rug. No bloodshed (at least on your ...

I’ve always been honest with my readers. I have a bit of a weight problem. I mean, I’m not confined to my bed or anything even near that, but I certainly have a little baggage I’d be willing to part with. With that said, the biggest part of losing weight for me has always been a combination between portion control ...

Uh oh, grandma’s hungover again! Quick, hide all of the belts and baseball bats. I still have bruises left over from last week. Put grandma in a better mood by buying her the Bed Ladder, the perfect way to help granny get herself out of bed after one of those benders. Not to mention it sort of makes her bed ...

This toilet has been floating (no pun intended) around a few viral sites recently and I hesitated to jump on it out of sheer will. I’m typically against posting stuff that you might have already seen. But there’s something about the Admiral Ackbar Toilet that keeps bringing me back. It’s likely not the smell. Deviantart user bmansnuggles created this awesome ...