Tag Archives: mustache

You’re running low on cash and you’ve got a date with your lady friend tonight. It happens to losers everyone. You promised you’d wine and dine her with pasta and pinot grigio. A $10 bill is what stands between you and getting laid tonight. The pasta you can cover for under $5, no problem, but the wine is a little ...

I dare you to find a family portrait cooler than this one that doesn’t feature bacon. The bayonet to mustache ratio really does it for me. Link

Many people don’t know this, but before Mario settled on his now classic mustache he went through a phase which lasted years of constantly switching up his facial hair style. All video game characters go through it. The search for their own identity. Mario went through 10 mustache styles alone during his year in technical college. Hell, there was even ...

For all those men out there who think their life is worthless just because your eyes might be abnormally far apart. Just grow a mustache and maybe one day you too can become the coolest light switch in the world. Of course, the mustache isn’t mandatory, but not having one is sort of like buying a race car only to ...

Once your car has a mustache it’ll never want to return to its hairless ways. Just look what happened to Alex Trebek once he ditched his mustache. Rumor has it that he was mauled by zebras and his current replacement is a scientifically-created genetic clone. Luckily the government knows better now then to leave our nations game show hosts unduplicated. ...

If you don’t think your neighbors would think too kindly of your having a live-in robot posing a wine rack, no worries. This Robot Wine Rack ships with an incognito mustache. Guests will wonder who your new debonair house guest is. Just tell them its your little secret. Of course, the mustache is purely optional, but why not? Lacking a ...

No need to even set-up a consultation with your plastic surgeon. Rhinoplasty is as easy as grabbing your nearest beverage. The Pick Your Nose Cups create the illusion of a beautiful new nose, and sometimes, even a beautiful new mustache. Choose your nose of choice from the 12 possible options. There’s a nose for everyone, don’t you knowz? Link [via]

Why settle for only one mustache when you can have four interchangeable Velcro mustaches which can be changed any day of the week. I’m in sort of a handlebar mood today, but who knows what my mustache-meter will hold tomorrow. (Probably handlebar again. Those things rock.) Mr. Mustache is the perfect pillow for the wishy-washy facial hair fan. Who doesn’t ...

If your dog suddenly starts showing up at home smelling of cigar smoke and brandy, it might be using one of these Mustache Chew Toys. When bitten just right, it makes your dog look like a dignified British diplomat. Hilarity ensues. Apparently, symptoms also include a slight brown discoloration of a nipple or two. Seriously, what the hell is with ...

A festering wound isn’t exactly your sure-fire ticket into the local country club. Being covered in bandages just doesn’t lend itself to your all-around hygiene. Luckily, even if your wound was infected and leaking, these Mustache Bandages add that extra touch of class that might just lead the club owner to forget all about a little pus. I never thought ...