The River Gym Makes My Bowels Move

“Staten Island? No problem! Brooklyn? Great! Come the fuck over and exercise before we sink!”

This is the dialogue I would imagine would appear on TV to advertise the River Gym. What’s the River Gym? Oh, allow me to explain. See, it’s a floating boat-type deal with a gym built into it. People work out and not only do they drop pounds, they keep the boat afloat. That’s right. Give me 15 more squats or we’re going to sink, you motherfucker.

So each boat floats in a specific loop around Manhattan and the membership fee is probably ridiculous. For a concept that’s been a work in progress for over three years, I’m curious to see if the River Gym comes to fruition.

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