What to Get Your Partner This Holiday Season

The holidays are coming up and, regardless of your religious views (or lack thereof), there is one thing upon which we can all agree: winter is the time for presents. Even if you staunchly avoid Christmas and Hanukkah, you’ll have to deal with Valentine’s Day soon enough, right? And figuring out what to get the lady in your life can be incredibly challenging–especially if the relationship is new or could be deemed “high maintenance.”  Here are some tips to make shopping easier:

How Old Is The Relationship

You know that you’ve met the one. You’re confident that you’re going to get married and make beautiful children together. You’re all set to go ring shopping and to begin your fancy colored diamond education. It feels great to be so sure and so excited!

Before you actually drop a few paychecks on the perfect ring, though, it is important to consider the length of your relationship. First dates are not the time for “I love you”’s and if you’ve been dating less than six months, it is definitely too soon for the “let’s spend the rest of our lives together” proposal. Even if you’re sure he or she feels it too, make yourself wait a few more months before initiating that conversation.

How Old Are You and Your Partner?

If you’re still in your twenties, you can get away with silly tchotchkes and funny cards for a while. Once you hit your thirties or forties, though, most people prefer gifts that involve time. Spending the whole day together, buying tickets for a show or sporting event you can enjoy together, a fancy dinner out–it’s more about spending time together than collecting stuff. Choosing gifts that involve time show that you pay attention to your partner and that you care about what they like to do and experience. It’s a way of showing that you mind his or her details and that will be far more appreciated (and better rewarded) than something grabbed off of the “last minute gifts” shelf at your local department store.

Personality Matters

If you do prefer to give things, avoid generic gifts “for her” or “for him.” Not everybody loves perfume, cologne, lingerie, ties, etc. Perhaps your lady friend is a diehard Seahawks fan. Maybe your fella loves modern dance. Choosing gifts based on generic gender stereotypes will do more to ensure you’ll be in this same situation next year (just with someone else) than it will to show your partner how much you value them.

There are a lot of different ways to figure out which personality quirks are good gift indicators. For example, if your partner never misses a game within a certain sport you can bet that season tickets at your local field will go over like gangbusters. If your partner has every book by a specific author, check that author’s site for his/her favorite writers and buy something from that list.

Note Wistfulness

One of the best sources of inspiration for gift giving is the “wistful replacement.” You’ve done this yourself: you see something in a store or somewhere and you think of how great it would be to own that thing but  you can’t buy it right now so you put it back on the shelf or click away from the website. Pay attention when your partner does this and make a note of what was “put back.” This is something you know that he or she wants and depending on what it is and where you are in the relationship, will likely be very well received this holiday season.

Just Ask

We place a lot of emphasis on being able to magically figure out what someone’s perfect gift should be. That’s what most of this article has been dedicated to helping you accomplish. Sometimes, though, one of the very best things you can do is to simply ask your special someone what he or she wants for their birthday or for the holidays. And then, if they actually tell you, get that for them. Don’t use it as inspiration to go off script. If you are specifically told “I want this.” Get that. Trust us.

No Gift Cards

Finally, it is important to note that gift cards are best left as last resorts or as additional gifts that get tied to the “real” gift that you are giving. A gift card should never be the gift itself. And if you do give a gift card, get a card for a specific retail outlet. Nothing says “I can’t be bothered to pay attention to you” like a generic gift card.

There you go! Your definitive guide to gift giving. Did we leave anything out? Let us know in comments!